Monday, August 23, 2004

Greeting Cards

Every time a silly little holiday or birthday comes around, I make the dreaded trip to the card shop. I’ll spend an hour looking at each pathetic card over and over again. They are all terrible. I’ll usually find one that is kind of half-passable. Then I stand there and wonder if I went to another store if I could find something better. At this point in my life, I’ve come to the conclusion that I could visit every card shop/aisle in LA and still not find the perfect card. They are either too mean in the wrong sort of way, not funny in the slightest or over-the-top sappy. For example, in shopping for a Father’s Day card I was looking for something simple. I thought I’d find a cute picture of a Papa Bear and Baby Bear on the cover and it would say “Happy Father’s Day!” on the inside. Do you think I could find such a thing? Of course not! Is it too much to ask for a simple card these days? I don’t want some thing that goes on and on about sentimental crap and I don’t want some supposedly humorous thing about something that doesn’t even apply to my family. Since all of the printed cards are such crap, I come up with this brilliant idea that I’ll buy a blank card and fill in my own note. Either the store won’t have any blank cards, or they have some strange animal with bugged-out-eyes on the cover, which is somehow never appropriate. And so I finally head back over to where I began and read them all again. After at least 45 minutes of looking at cards, I finally give up and decide to go with the half-passable one I saw 35 minutes earlier. Then I flip it over and !!! $4.95!! For a stinking piece of paper that doesn’t even say anything like what I want it to! What a rip-off! So I buy the stinking card, and get the heck out of the store.

Later, I am off at the party/ gathering, whatever… the time comes to open presents. Now one of two things happens. The person picks up the card, glazes over it for ½ a second and then grabs for the good stuff, or they pull out the envelope, set it aside and go straight to the good stuff. !!! And then they pitch the card with the wrapping paper!

Most people don't really even like the card all that much. So why the heck do I torture myself trying to find the perfect one? Or at this point, the half-passable one? There are a few times where a card is good. Little kids making cards for people is cute. But that is different because it is not really going to the store and buying a card. So there is only one time I can really think of that a card is good: when it is holding money. But honestly, it could be in a piece of construction paper for all I care. Just give me the dough!

I say we take a stand against such rip-offs! No more cards. Just don’t buy them. And if we need to know who stuff is from, let’s do what we do at Christmas: put those little sticky tags on there! Yes!! And if you feel you have to send something, how about an e-card? Many of them are free. (Okay, so many of them suck too, but at least they are free. Plus, I think people look at them longer than they look at the paper ones.)

Let’s all breathe easy next holiday or birthday and skip the card. So what if it was traditional. Let’s make new traditions. Let’s not shell out five bucks for what is basically a piece of garbage from the start.


Blogger Legolas said...

You seem really upset. perhaps I should mail you a sympathy card... And then you could send me a thank you card for the sympathy car, and then I'll send you a thank you card for the thank you card that was for the sympathy card except my thank you card would have a written message inside saying that you didn't need to send me a thank you card for the sympathy card, which would lead you to send a thank you card for the thank you card for the thank you card that was for the thank you card. Your latest thank you card would say no, I really wanted to say thank you that was such a nice gesture to send a sympathy card in my time of turmoil...


7:36 AM  
Blogger thuringwethil2004 said...

lol lego.

Pixie we made up little business size cards with just our name on them and tape them on the outside, they know who it's from and we didn't get a card no one reads.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Cocles said...

What's obnoxious is every other Father's Day card is written as if we all have that stereotypical beer guzzling, tool loving, receives a tie every Christmas dad.

No my dad is not Tim Allen from Home Improvement.

Give up Hallmark. You're out of ideas.

10:55 PM  
Blogger Legolas said...

A note on using microsoft word... I think you may have used it for the post by cutting and pasting. For some reason everytime I have done this I had to edit all the apostrophes ' microsofts is angled, and the blog doesn't read them....

9:14 AM  
Blogger Pixie said...

Thanks for the tip Lego. I did cut and paste from MS Word, but I do see the apostrophe's on my screen. Let me know if anyone else has problems.

12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jazzman said...

I agree. Cards are dumb. I've always wanted to give someone a card on Arbor Day, though. The irony would be too good to pass up.

Even if a card says something good and appropriate, all that really says is that the person spent enough time in the card store to find such a card. What I'd really like to know is how what that person wants to say--not what someone else wants to say in his behalf. Just give us more blank cards to choose from. (Although at the same time, I'm just horrible at coming up with something to say on my own...)

Kind of reminds me of last Christmas where my mom gave me a really good and inspiring book (actually got one for all the siblings). She waited in line to get the author's signature on them all, personalized for each of us. That was a bit of trouble for her, and I appreciated it (though this author means more to her than me), but I would have been more pleased with it if she would have written something for me herself instead.

10:48 AM  

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